


Buttbae

by facetiousfutz



Series: Scrotie McBoogerballs's Flying Circus [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, M/M, Misgendering, No Spoilers, South Park: The Fractured But Whole, Trans Female Character, Trans New Kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 00:26:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12544684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/facetiousfutz/pseuds/facetiousfutz
Summary: Butters introduces his new girlfriend, The New Kid.Everyone is confused because they legitimately thought The New Kid was a boy. It's hard to tell because The New Kid never talks. Butters could tell though, and he loves his pretty new girlfriend, even if the guys are being the same ol' wieners they always are.





	Buttbae

Butters danced into the cafeteria just as happy as can be, The New Kid on tow and wearing a cute blouse and a sky blue ponytail that day. And a fuck ton of mascara. Bebe looked awfully proud for some reason. 

Some people stared at Butters, but most people didn’t care. 

“Guess what, everybody!” said Butters, and then he grabbed The New Kid’s hand. “I asked out The New Kid and she said yes.

“Well, she said yes with a kiss. I think that means yes. She don’t talk much, you see.” 

“Dude,” said Craig. “Not cool. Tweek and I are the token gay couple.” 

“No, no!” said Wendy, butting into the conversation. “They’re not a gay couple, Craig. The New Kid is a girl.” 

“Oh my god, it’s happening again,” said Stan, horrified. He was already confused about his gender once. He could feel the confusion happening again. 

“Wait, you were a boy, though?” said Kyle, raising an eyebrow. “Right? I could have sworn you were... i-in Stick of Truth? Right?” 

“G-g-girls don’t fart quite as magically as B-b-butthole,” said Jimmy. “And f-r-rankly, not as stinky.”

“That’s not true. Shelly farts all the time,” said Stan, using his sister as a sacrificial goat to suppress his existential quandary. “Don’t tell her I said that, or she’ll kill me.” 

“You idiots are missing the point,” said Wendy. “The New Kid is a transgender girl, possibly gender fluid.” 

“What the hell does that mean?” 

“Some days you want to fuck a fat cow dressed like a redneck. Others you want to bone the mailman wearing your best dinner gown,” said Kenny, and then he farted and the whole room erupted into laughter and eww. "No? Just me? OK."

“Gross, Kenny. This is serious,” said Wendy. 

"What makes you think I wasn't serious?" Kenny huffed. Stan wanted to assume he was joking, but his gut told him otherwise. Wow. 

“A-Anyway, I’m sure The New Kid would like you all to address she or ze by her or zir’s proper pronouns.” 

“OK, now say that in English,” said Craig, being a dick like he always is. 

Wendy threw a balled up napkin at him. That she spit in. 

“Call The New Kid Buttgirl, Buttperson, or Buttkin. Not Buttboy!”

“I call The New Kid Buttboy because it has a nice ring to it. I don't give a shit about their gender.”

“Nyeh! Alliteration,” said Tweek. “I'm so sorry. I mean, hey New Kid, blink once if you’re a boy.” 

The New Kid didn’t blink at all, and didn’t say a goddamn word, as usual. 

“I guess that means Buttperson is a girl, or something. Argh! I’m sorry if I was insensitive, or misgendered you! I don’t want to be the cis gay guy that’s a dick to trans people.”

“Tweek, calm down,” said Craig. “Butthole isn’t even mad, or anything really. It’s hard to tell when they won’t fucking say anything.” 

The New Kid stared neutrally at Craig, and Craig flipped her off, for he communicated best with his finger. 

“Hey fellas,” said Butters. “I appreciate y’all taking the time to learn to properly gender Buttbae, but I think you’re making her uncomfortable. She’s a shy little lady. Prettiest girl in school. How did I get so lucky?”

The New Kid smiled and kissed Butters on the cheek.

“Doesn’t anyone CARE about The Coon anymore?” said Cartman, who groaned when Heidi appeared in her Coon t-shirt. On the outside she appeared cheerful and oblivious to her boyfriend’s loathing of her. On the inside she relished the torment she was subtly dishing out on him. It was a shitty job, but someone had to do it. 

“If you’ll excuse me, me and my girlfriend must take our leave of you. We have Chaotic and beautiful things to discuss.” 

“Good luck getting her to talk with her mouth and not just her ass,” said Stan, and the children in the cafeteria laughed it up once again. 

It felt good to get that all out in the open. They were a bunch of assholes, but it was nice to have real friends and a real man that loved zir, and not just eighty million random dicks on Facebook and Coonstagram.


End file.
